Day 72 - Friday
I didn't post for today as I took the dog to get his stitches out after work - it took me an hour and half to get from my house to the vets (a trip thats normally like 15 mins tops)
After that we grabbed a chippy dinner as we were shattered coming home - which we ate and then I went to bed - at 8pm and slept right the way through until like 6am. I don't normally sleep more than 3-5 hours - I think worrying about my aunty is getting to me.
So I guess the positive for today is that Jac is now stitch free and collar free and he's loving it
Day 73 - Saturday
Today I went to get some new glasses - I won a competition on Facebook for a £100 voucher for a local opticians - they are only open at set times so had to be there early. I chose a nice funky chunky turquoise pair and ended up paying like £59 on top to get them thinned down. So not a free pair then lol. I kinda expected that though I have a really complicated prescription I'm -10 and a bit in both eyes which basically makes me blind as a bat, I also have astigmatism in both eyes to different extents which makes my - 10 more like a -12 which means I have HUGE lenses jam jars dont even come close. I could have had the glasses without the thinning but that would have made them look super ugly - I know I have done that before. The glasses will take a couple of weeks because of the complexity of my prescription but I am looking forward to them coming - as I wear glasses all the time I like to have different colour frames. I can and do wear contacts in the summer but again due to my complicated prescription and the fact I have larger than normal pupils I cant wear them in the dark as my pupils get too big and my vision blurs.
After that I got a text from my sister saying she and H were on the way to Cardiff and what bus should she get from town to my house. She wanted to surprise our mum by calling down with her Mother's Day gifts - she hadn't realised there was a match on and a Wales one too in the Stadium. I persuaded mum to come to town with me and my sis turned up and got to spend some time with us.
I used my one4all card that I won in a comp on facebook and treated me and my mum to some new shoes, I also got my sis a new lightweight stroller for H as her's is broken. H has low tone and doesn't walk yet at 19 months so my sis needs a working stroller for her. We also popped into Sports Direct where I got some new work out trousers, a sports bra ( been wearing 2 to my fatty jump aka rikaShake class as couldnt find my old one!) and some new jeans. with the trousers in a 16 and the bra in an 18 I'm deffo feeling better about myself fitting into smaller clothes even though part of me is a bit dubious about buying more clothes in case this is a short term thing and I balloon back up to a 24!
After that I treated us to dinner in Pizza Express - we had 3 different pizzas plus doughballs and drinks and it came to £52 with tip (the waitress was brilliant with us and with H who is teething and grumpy). The food was delicious and we would have stayed for desserts but the match had finished and town was heaving so we thought it best to head home. I paid for dinner using my one4all card too - I have like £16 left on it after 3 hours in Cardiff but oh well it's nice to treat the family :)
We came home - sorted the stroller - had a quick chat and then my sis had to head to get a train back home. She's pretty stressed out at the moment - my aunty who is in hospital lives next door to her and is more like a second mum than an aunt. They are super close and my sis is really upset about everything thats going on. I think she needed today with us to just get some away time from it all.
So today's positives are: fitting into smaller clothes, getting gym clothes so I can continue to lose weight, tone up and become more healthy, helping my sis out and spending family time :)
Tomorrow is Mother's Day so for any Mum's reading - Happy Mother's Day for Sunday
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Thursday, March 12, 2015
+ 365 Day 71
Today is a mixed bag
I visited my aunty in ICU - it does not look good, she's on a ventilator, dialysis, nasal feed, catheterised and has a colostomy bag fitted. She is also on a shed load of other wires and drips. There has been no sign of her waking and they have been unable to wake her form her medically induced coma. Her body is bloated and swollen from fluid and she is covered in bruises - from the treatment. I dont believe she will come out of it and if there is significant brain damage I dont believe she would want to - she always said if anything happened and she needed that level of care to let her go with dignity.
I found her nurse to be unhelpful and rude and I dont feel she is getting the best level of care - they have not done a brain scan to see if there is any activity, - she went into hospital walking and within 2 days is in organ shut down and a coma.
I have accepted that she probably isn't going to wake up - I will miss her a lot.
On the other hand - my sister got the all clear it was just a severe infection
Today has not been a good day but it's not been as bad as expected and I am happy for my sister
I visited my aunty in ICU - it does not look good, she's on a ventilator, dialysis, nasal feed, catheterised and has a colostomy bag fitted. She is also on a shed load of other wires and drips. There has been no sign of her waking and they have been unable to wake her form her medically induced coma. Her body is bloated and swollen from fluid and she is covered in bruises - from the treatment. I dont believe she will come out of it and if there is significant brain damage I dont believe she would want to - she always said if anything happened and she needed that level of care to let her go with dignity.
I found her nurse to be unhelpful and rude and I dont feel she is getting the best level of care - they have not done a brain scan to see if there is any activity, - she went into hospital walking and within 2 days is in organ shut down and a coma.
I have accepted that she probably isn't going to wake up - I will miss her a lot.
On the other hand - my sister got the all clear it was just a severe infection
Today has not been a good day but it's not been as bad as expected and I am happy for my sister
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
+ 365 days 68 69 & 70
Firstly I have been lax the last few days with the blog - not because I'm totally lazy but because I have been struggling with the whole positive attitude - I've not had good news about my aunty - she's not getting better :( they can't wake her from the medically induced coma, she had fallen and bumped her head 2 days before her hospital admission but they didnt check so now they are thinking there's a bleed on the brain so she has to have a scan and shes gone into kidney failure - I'm going in to see her tomorrow and also to find out what the hell is going on as they refuse to give any information over the phone - only to her husband who is a diagnosed alcoholic with diagnosed brain damage! My sister is getting the results from breast clinic too tomorrow - again not really positive about it as they have recalled her urgently :( So it has been a real struggle to be positive. The posts are short but I will try and do better in the future
Day 68 - Monday
Took all the kitty rescue stuff to work and passed it on so my room is now tidy! Had a migraine all day though and came home from work early. I then pretty much slept from about 1pm til 5.30 got up for 3 hours and back to bed. So today's positive is a nice clean living space.
Day 69 -Tuesday
Still had a migraine so started work late. I'm grateful that my work allows me to have a flexible working policy so that if I have a migraine or allergy flare up rather than taking a sick day I can start later - happily the migraine cleared up completely :) Dyed my hair which I haven't done for a while - will put a separate post on that as used the VS salonist dye - wasn't hugely impressed with it - the colour is nice but not the colour on the box. Today's positive is flexible working and bosses that allow it.
Day 70 - Wednesday
Got new uniform in work - am happy to say I can now fit into size 16 trousers woohoo :)
So that's it 3 days in 3 very short paragraphs - I am remaining positive that tomorrow will get us some good news about my aunty or at least some clear information. And hopefully if my sister has got some bad results they will have caught it nice and early
Day 68 - Monday
Took all the kitty rescue stuff to work and passed it on so my room is now tidy! Had a migraine all day though and came home from work early. I then pretty much slept from about 1pm til 5.30 got up for 3 hours and back to bed. So today's positive is a nice clean living space.
Day 69 -Tuesday
Still had a migraine so started work late. I'm grateful that my work allows me to have a flexible working policy so that if I have a migraine or allergy flare up rather than taking a sick day I can start later - happily the migraine cleared up completely :) Dyed my hair which I haven't done for a while - will put a separate post on that as used the VS salonist dye - wasn't hugely impressed with it - the colour is nice but not the colour on the box. Today's positive is flexible working and bosses that allow it.
Day 70 - Wednesday
Got new uniform in work - am happy to say I can now fit into size 16 trousers woohoo :)
So that's it 3 days in 3 very short paragraphs - I am remaining positive that tomorrow will get us some good news about my aunty or at least some clear information. And hopefully if my sister has got some bad results they will have caught it nice and early
Sunday, March 8, 2015
+ 365 Day 67 part 2
Just a follow up to my earlier post :)
I did manage to keep the positive vibe going but it was difficult!
Some good things from today:
- finally finished the purina trial by completing the final survey submitting all my reports etc. I love taking part in these and I try to do my best to make sure the company gets all they need from it too - after all they have stumped up a huge amount of free items to get this feedback so its important to give it.
- tidied my room - well kinda - I still have one corner to do and I need to vacuum change the bedding and mop the floor but I did manage to put all my presents away under the bed, sort out all the cat rescue stuff to go and put away all the clothes and shoes which had started to mount up too
- went shopping to What shop :) I dunno if these are all over the country or just in Wales but they are pretty cool. They have like the surliest rude staff ever so dont expect customer service and you will be okay :P They stock like every type of item, furniture, home wares, cooking, garden, craft etc all at stupidly low prices. I got some hot pink butterfly ribbons and some felt butterflies to decorate my chest of drawers - they are form ikea and kinda bland looking so im going to put stripes of ribbon on them and if I have any spare also on the bedside cabinet and book case too. I also picked up a new bedding set - its the same pattern as the set I already have but in browns purples and pinks it was half price at £5.99 so total bargain. I also got some really bright pink paint to do a feature wall again half price at only £4.99 for a can. I got a tin opened for work so I dont need to keep stealing ours and some pattern colouring books. The colouring books are for me - I find colouring relaxing but dont want fluffy bunnies - the geometric shapes and patterns are cool to do. All in all I spent just about £16 and will hopefully be able to revamp my room a bit :)
I have photos to upload but my net is being a bit dodgy again tonight (thanks sky) so will add them in tomorrow.
I'm off to bed now for an early (for me - its only 1am I'm normally up til 3/4)night as I want to try and start work around 715 tomorrow so I can work some time up to visit my sis Thursday
So the result? Lifting yourself out of a grump rut can be hard - but by taking time to try and be positive you can change that feeling slowly. Tonight I go to bed feeling more positive and happier than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow will be better again
PEACE
I did manage to keep the positive vibe going but it was difficult!
Some good things from today:
- finally finished the purina trial by completing the final survey submitting all my reports etc. I love taking part in these and I try to do my best to make sure the company gets all they need from it too - after all they have stumped up a huge amount of free items to get this feedback so its important to give it.
- tidied my room - well kinda - I still have one corner to do and I need to vacuum change the bedding and mop the floor but I did manage to put all my presents away under the bed, sort out all the cat rescue stuff to go and put away all the clothes and shoes which had started to mount up too
- went shopping to What shop :) I dunno if these are all over the country or just in Wales but they are pretty cool. They have like the surliest rude staff ever so dont expect customer service and you will be okay :P They stock like every type of item, furniture, home wares, cooking, garden, craft etc all at stupidly low prices. I got some hot pink butterfly ribbons and some felt butterflies to decorate my chest of drawers - they are form ikea and kinda bland looking so im going to put stripes of ribbon on them and if I have any spare also on the bedside cabinet and book case too. I also picked up a new bedding set - its the same pattern as the set I already have but in browns purples and pinks it was half price at £5.99 so total bargain. I also got some really bright pink paint to do a feature wall again half price at only £4.99 for a can. I got a tin opened for work so I dont need to keep stealing ours and some pattern colouring books. The colouring books are for me - I find colouring relaxing but dont want fluffy bunnies - the geometric shapes and patterns are cool to do. All in all I spent just about £16 and will hopefully be able to revamp my room a bit :)
I have photos to upload but my net is being a bit dodgy again tonight (thanks sky) so will add them in tomorrow.
I'm off to bed now for an early (for me - its only 1am I'm normally up til 3/4)night as I want to try and start work around 715 tomorrow so I can work some time up to visit my sis Thursday
So the result? Lifting yourself out of a grump rut can be hard - but by taking time to try and be positive you can change that feeling slowly. Tonight I go to bed feeling more positive and happier than I did yesterday and hopefully tomorrow will be better again
PEACE
+ 365 day 67 Part 1
Following on from yesterdays grump fest I have decided that today I am going to start the day positive to try and break the bad mood cycle.
I woke up to a cat purring and licking my nose - not the best way to wake up but not the worse (she could have been sat on my face farting! - see sense of humour - slightly warped but coming back)
I didnt feel particularly happy as I woke up but as I lay there trying to decide whether I should indeed get up or just go back to seep I made a conscious decision that today is going to be a good day!
Hence the early post.
So positive things for today:
1 - now my dads stuff is gone from my room I can give it a good tidy and clean and also put away all the birthday, christmas and easter pressies I have for the family
2 - today is day 3 of the microbiotics - apparently you start to feel the effect of them from day 3 onwards - they are supposed to give you more energy and a happy tum!
3 - I found my nephew's girlfriend on facebook and messaged her to remind him to get my sister a mother's day card off him, his baby sister and his son - my aunty normally does this but as shes in hospital she isnt able to and I know my sis would be upset without receiving anything (and neiter of the dads is on the scene to do it!)
4 - My aunty is improving :) we still dont know the extent of the damage and she is still in ICU but she is now breathing on her own with support, she still has several lines going in including antibiotics, fluids, feeding tube and ongoing blood transfusions but that is still good news
5 - I'm going shopping to one of my fave shops - I have no money lol but I still plan on buying a few bits and pieces :D
I am going to do an Part 2 later to let you guys know if I managed to keep my positive vibe going despite my general inclination to be a grouch!
I woke up to a cat purring and licking my nose - not the best way to wake up but not the worse (she could have been sat on my face farting! - see sense of humour - slightly warped but coming back)
I didnt feel particularly happy as I woke up but as I lay there trying to decide whether I should indeed get up or just go back to seep I made a conscious decision that today is going to be a good day!
Hence the early post.
So positive things for today:
1 - now my dads stuff is gone from my room I can give it a good tidy and clean and also put away all the birthday, christmas and easter pressies I have for the family
2 - today is day 3 of the microbiotics - apparently you start to feel the effect of them from day 3 onwards - they are supposed to give you more energy and a happy tum!
3 - I found my nephew's girlfriend on facebook and messaged her to remind him to get my sister a mother's day card off him, his baby sister and his son - my aunty normally does this but as shes in hospital she isnt able to and I know my sis would be upset without receiving anything (and neiter of the dads is on the scene to do it!)
4 - My aunty is improving :) we still dont know the extent of the damage and she is still in ICU but she is now breathing on her own with support, she still has several lines going in including antibiotics, fluids, feeding tube and ongoing blood transfusions but that is still good news
5 - I'm going shopping to one of my fave shops - I have no money lol but I still plan on buying a few bits and pieces :D
I am going to do an Part 2 later to let you guys know if I managed to keep my positive vibe going despite my general inclination to be a grouch!
Saturday, March 7, 2015
+ 364 Day 66
Today has been a meh day
By that I mean nothing has gone particularly wrong or been bad but I have kinda felt a bit meh about it all. I'm feeling very tired which makes me grouchy and kinda miserable and grumpy for no reason really.
Rather than focusing on positive things I have been nit picking and grumping my way through Saturday. Little things have annoyed me and I have made them bigger than they are.
I have snapped at my mum and dad the dog and the cats, growled at a poor woman in aldis who accidentally nudged me and yelled abuse at about a hundred cars and drivers during the drive to West Wales and back (luckily it was me inside the car and not face to face)
I really dont know what put me in such a bad mood - I slept okay, I've just started some probiotics (which I won), no-ones been mean or nasty or anything it's literally like I fell out of the wrong side of bed.
To anyone and everyone I yelled at, snapped at, glared at and generally acted grumpy towards I unreservedly apologise.
I guess the positive for today is at least I can recognise when I am basically being a stroppy bitch - recognising and acknowledging faults is the first step to overcoming them - right?
I am hopeful tomorrow will be a better day - and if it isn't then I hope I deal with it better than today
Thats all
By that I mean nothing has gone particularly wrong or been bad but I have kinda felt a bit meh about it all. I'm feeling very tired which makes me grouchy and kinda miserable and grumpy for no reason really.
Rather than focusing on positive things I have been nit picking and grumping my way through Saturday. Little things have annoyed me and I have made them bigger than they are.
I have snapped at my mum and dad the dog and the cats, growled at a poor woman in aldis who accidentally nudged me and yelled abuse at about a hundred cars and drivers during the drive to West Wales and back (luckily it was me inside the car and not face to face)
I really dont know what put me in such a bad mood - I slept okay, I've just started some probiotics (which I won), no-ones been mean or nasty or anything it's literally like I fell out of the wrong side of bed.
To anyone and everyone I yelled at, snapped at, glared at and generally acted grumpy towards I unreservedly apologise.
I guess the positive for today is at least I can recognise when I am basically being a stroppy bitch - recognising and acknowledging faults is the first step to overcoming them - right?
I am hopeful tomorrow will be a better day - and if it isn't then I hope I deal with it better than today
Thats all
Friday, March 6, 2015
+ 365 day 65
Today's Friday
Today's positive is that tomorrow I'm taking my dad back to West Wales! Now dont get me wrong I get on well with my dad but he also gets on my nerves too lol in no particular order:
- he snores - loudly! and he falls asleep stupidly early like 8pm and hes snoring and its like nails on a black board to me I hate it and I can hear him in my bedroom snoorreeekkkkk snoorg snuuffle groan snock GRRRRRR
- he tells me how to use technology and social media - seriously? Dad I had to show you how to get onto fb, I've had to set up every single piece of tech you have and yet you insist on telling me how to use things or that I'm doing it wrong - I'm not doing it wrong I'm doing it my way which works!
- he is a bathroom hog - I get up for work between 6.30 - 7 - he goes to the bathroom every morning between 6-7! and he stinks it out - it's a tiny bathroom - I cant breath to shower and then I'm late to work!!!!!
- he insists on telling me long boring stories about people and doesn't understand why I dont remember all his friends - Paul, you know Paul, the guy you met 7 years ago as you passed him in a corridor? Dont be daft of course you know him, well Paul and John - now I know you know John I worked with him for years....yawn... sorry dad not to be mean but I don't remember every single person I have met - to be honest I struggle to remember my own friends names
- he thinks I'm his personal Chauffeur - tonight if you drop me to the club around 8 and then pick me up at 1130 - but I'm going out, no your picking me up otherwise I cant go!
- he buys me things but things that he likes - so I needed a new coat - I saw a nice one in ASDa for £15 in the sale - he buys me a man's designer (i'll give him that) expensive all weather all terrain 3 in 1 cost £150 coat which I wont wear...like ever
Okay ranting over and so is this entry as he's snoring again and I may smother him with a pillow - positive thoughts he will be home tomorrow and I will be a snore free zone!
Today's positive is that tomorrow I'm taking my dad back to West Wales! Now dont get me wrong I get on well with my dad but he also gets on my nerves too lol in no particular order:
- he snores - loudly! and he falls asleep stupidly early like 8pm and hes snoring and its like nails on a black board to me I hate it and I can hear him in my bedroom snoorreeekkkkk snoorg snuuffle groan snock GRRRRRR
- he tells me how to use technology and social media - seriously? Dad I had to show you how to get onto fb, I've had to set up every single piece of tech you have and yet you insist on telling me how to use things or that I'm doing it wrong - I'm not doing it wrong I'm doing it my way which works!
- he is a bathroom hog - I get up for work between 6.30 - 7 - he goes to the bathroom every morning between 6-7! and he stinks it out - it's a tiny bathroom - I cant breath to shower and then I'm late to work!!!!!
- he insists on telling me long boring stories about people and doesn't understand why I dont remember all his friends - Paul, you know Paul, the guy you met 7 years ago as you passed him in a corridor? Dont be daft of course you know him, well Paul and John - now I know you know John I worked with him for years....yawn... sorry dad not to be mean but I don't remember every single person I have met - to be honest I struggle to remember my own friends names
- he thinks I'm his personal Chauffeur - tonight if you drop me to the club around 8 and then pick me up at 1130 - but I'm going out, no your picking me up otherwise I cant go!
- he buys me things but things that he likes - so I needed a new coat - I saw a nice one in ASDa for £15 in the sale - he buys me a man's designer (i'll give him that) expensive all weather all terrain 3 in 1 cost £150 coat which I wont wear...like ever
Okay ranting over and so is this entry as he's snoring again and I may smother him with a pillow - positive thoughts he will be home tomorrow and I will be a snore free zone!
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